When it comes to sex, Brits are often known more for their stiff upper lips than anything else. But with Mary Whitehouse firmly in the grave and rates of sexually transmitted infections soaring – okay so it's not a good thing but at least it proves we're doing it – I like to think that those days are behind us.

Apparently, however, two in five Britons would happily give up sex if it meant they could live until they were 100-years-old. That's nearly half of the population that would gladly give up the glories of getting naked and sweaty - and for what? Not using a condom, arthritis, incontinence and wrinkles? Not that any of these minor disabilities necessarily matter if you're not planning on pulling any one, but that aside, what is wrong with you people?

According to Bupa, who commissioned the research, women are more willing than men to forego carnal pleasures for an extra round (or 3,620) of bridge. Nearly half would swear lifelong celibacy in return for a telegram from the Queen, while less than a third of men would do the same.

Now, I don't want to be pedantic but let's look at the practicalities of this. I'm currently childless and, turkey basters aside, swearing celibacy now would mean living out the next 70 years without children or grandchildren, thereby removing one of the few joys of old age. Unsurprisingly, only six per cent of people would give up friends and family if it meant living to 100, but why would so many inadvertently give up the chance of extending their family?

Maybe I'm overly caught up in youthful naivety, but I fail to see that living to 100 would really be that great, whereas I can see many disadvantages of life-long celibacy. There's a reason that "the most fun you can have with your clothes on" has become such a standard phrase – we recognise that the sort of fun you can have with your clothes off is in a whole different league. Sex is fun; hell, even bad sex can be better than a poke in the eye with a sharp stick, if you'll pardon the vaguely inappropriate expression.

So 40 per cent of you may want to reconsider your priorities and remember the virtues of living fast and dying young, but play safe and use a condom.