For better or worse
Marriage is scary whether you do, or don't
By Catherine Portland
Most girls dream of the dress, whether it's a strapless designer affair they hanker for, or the one their mum has in the loft.
On the flipside, there are those girls who couldn't care less about the accoutrements; they just want their man and his babies, pronto.
Then there is the large and increasing population of ladies who want neither; if they are with a man, they don't need a ring to show for it and if they aren't bloked up, well that's one less responsibility to worry about.
Finally, there are the majority of girls who rather like the idea of marriage but are full of trepidation about its implications having witnessed less-than-blissful unions among relatives and acquaintances.
The divorce rate in England and Wales is currently at its lowest level for 22 years; however, the number of marriages is also at a record low.
Cohabitation and having children out of wedlock are no longer frowned upon, except in the politest of circles, and many people seem to be deciding that tying the knot just isn't worth the bother.
However, those who want a companion into old age should bear in mind that you have a much higher chance of lasting as a couple if you are married than if you merely cohabit.
But with the unrealistic demands of this have-all generation, is our mate going to be a companion or a hindrance?
Basically, the choice seems to boil down to compromising throughout your life, which will be punctured by supposedly loving bickering, or living as selfishly as you desire, but resigning yourself to old spinsterhood or eternal bachelordom with no-one to spoonfeed you when you can't do it yourself.
Of course, the pluses are likely to be more substantial than these portrayals suggest, but I think it is always best to assume the worst, as then you can't be disappointed.
Yet this clearly leaves us unenviably positioned between a rock and a hard place.
Thus, the only solution seems to be to ignore the statistics, avoid the cruel realities and hold firm to the idealism that people blame for these problems in the first place.
It's important to accept imperfection, of course, but it's equally important not to make failure a foregone conclusion by believing that it is the only possibility when it is only one of very many potential outcomes - and many of them good ones.
